"have it known throughout the land from sea to sea..."

Even though I need a job, I was thinking of holidays the other day and how grateful I am not to be working this Christmas. I'm pretty sure working retail has ruined countless Christmases for me for years, and even though I wasn't working retail last year, my overly awful boss put a huge damper on my jolliness for the season.

Because of all this reflection I was doing, now I'm beginning to wonder if I really don't like holidays like I've been claiming for years, or if I just in fact hate working during them. The whole thing is unraveling rather quickly and messing with my bah humbug spirit.

One thing's for sure though- I hate present shopping. I love giving presents to people...so much so that I can almost never make it without giving the present early or just accidentally saying what it is. The whole deciding what to get though...It's actually a pretty stressful event. I am terrible at picking out presents for people. I just hate trying to figure out what people will love! It's hard! I would much rather have them just tell me what they want... but then I get all bummed because they know what they're getting and it's not a surprise and what kind of present is a no-surprise present? A boring one. Sigh. See what I mean? It's stressful, hard work.

Anyway, in honor of my newfound less humbuggy self, I am actually blogging to tell you my favorite Christmas movie. Which is die hard, of course. I actually had a whole speech prepared on why, and was looking for a picture to go with it, when I read an article basically telling all my reasons why for me. So, to read an accurate and very entertaining article on why Die Hard makes an awesome Christmas movie, just read all about it here: http://www.ndsmcobserver.com/scene/why-die-hard-is-the-greatest-christmas-movie-of-all-time-1.2963527#.UMn3tOQ82So

Also, I love Santa Claus is coming to town, (the claymation movie) because Burgermeister Meisterburger is a hoot. Minus the whole scene where the young future mrs. claus sings whatever that super long song is by the fountain that's ridiculously boring and I want to fast forward every time. I always hated that part as a kid too. Seriously though, Meisterburger. Best Christmas villain. Plus he's got awesome dance moves and a great song. And he has the best lines:
"YOU? How dare you! You are obviously a nonconformist and a rebel!" 

 "I have been bamboozled!"

That movie also makes me want a penguin named Topper.

In related news, we decided to make a Christmas card this year. Mikey was feeling the Christmas spirit and got all dressed for the occasion. He might've even let out a few ho-ho-ho's during the picture taking, one can't be sure. He asked for antlers for next year's picture and I think he might have been feeling a little silly in a Santa hat next to Logan and the beard. He was a good sport about the whole thing though. I love him.

"baby, it's cold outside..."

So the other day I got this text from my sister Melinda:

and I just have to say again...first of all, how cool are my sisters? Secondly, how hilariously awesome is this coat?!

I don't think Rebecca really likes camping but I'm pretty sure this coat could turn that all around for her. Plus, she's so modelesque in it. (I might have made that word up. Just go with it.)

"this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world..."

I have never really known anyone who has died. I had never even been to a funeral until last year when Logan's grandma passed away and we went to hers. Sadly, I never really got to know her.
I'd never actually thought much about not having dealt with death until Logan brought up how nervous he is for me to handle it for the first time. I guess by my age most people have been exposed to it in some way? That seems so sad. So it's been in the back of my mind that some day I'll have to deal with it, and when that time comes I figure my first reaction will probably be denial. That's purely guesswork but it's hard for me to wrap my brain around the whole not being able to talk to someone thing now, so I think it'll be even harder when it actually happens.

As I just finished watching a movie that I knew was going to end with the main character dying, I found myself in tears anyway! I hate watching goodbyes. I shuffled over to the room where Logan was practicing and pushed open the door slowly, sniffling. "Hi!" he said as the door swung open. Then, looking at my puffy eyes, "Oh dear..." in a reprimanding yet sympathetic voice. I laughed and looked at him pitifully.

This scene happens in our house pretty much all the time. I cannot watch something sad without crying! Anything that has to do with good people dying before their time, people saying goodbye, don't even get me started on sad things with kids or people not being able to have babies. I'm an absolute mess.

I was talking to my mom about a tv show the other day and I'm an episode ahead of her. I told her I wasn't going to tell her what happened "but oh my gosh it was so sad. I cried."
"what?" she asked, sounding surprised.

"Something happened and it was the saddest thing! And I tried really hard not to, but I couldn't help it!" I rambled on.

"Oh my gosh!" she said, mocking me, "You're just like Dad. He hardly ever cries in real life, but he watches some dumb movie and he's crying his eyes out!"

I burst out laughing. "That is just like me! And I get all embarrassed, so I like, try to hide it if other people are around. I'll slowly bring my hand up to my eye and sort of brush away the tears like I'm just rubbing my eyes because they're tired. Hoping nobody will be the wiser..."

So I'm telling my mom this, and she just laughs at me!!

"At the end of that episode I was totally doing that and I almost got away with it. As soon as it ended I busied myself doing other things and Logan started talking to me, but then he asked me a question and my voice broke and he said 'are you crying over there?!' and I couldn't help it! The tears just started coming!"

 "Oh my gosh! You guys are a bunch of cry babies!" My mom says, laughing again.

Well, now I know where I get it from. Obviously that was not passed down from my mother. Make sure she's not around if you're watching a sad movie! Rude. It's okay Dad, you can come watch movies with me. Pass the tissues this way, please.

"jack frost nipping at your nose..."

It's getting cold in Boston! We had our first snow that actually stuck on December 1st. Appropriate, I guess. If you're gonna have snow. Personally, I mean if it were up to me, the only snow I'd be having is Disney World snow.
I really miss Disney every Christmas. The season just isn't the same without it. This will be my fourth year in a row missing the Disney World lights at Christmastime and I'm pretty sure every year gets sadder.

Luckily, there are pretty lights and cool things to see around Boston. We bundled up on Saturday night and went downtown to see the lights. They have a long walkway through the city that is just full of lights on all the trees as far as you can see. It's beautiful.

We stopped for some bread bowls at Panera bread to warm up and then got some carmel apple spice at Starbucks and headed over to Faneuil Hall to see the lights there.

They have a really huge Christmas tree there that we got to see last year when we were here visiting, and this year it is just as amazing. It was a really pretty night but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be bundling up from here on out this season! Brrr

"simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up her mind"

I have noticed lately since I have moved to a new place where I am meeting new people, that basically the first thing people ask you when you meet is: "what do you do?" This isn't a question I am unfamiliar with; it's a common question everywhere when you meet someone new, but it has started to frustrate me that I don't have an answer.

I like Boston, and I love that Logan is going to a school he loves and is learning things that will benefit him. It's fun meeting new people and hearing them take an interest in what he is doing, but I have noticed that now I dread the moment they wrap it up with him to turn and ask me, "and what do you do?" 

It seems a simple enough question. Yet...even when I am working somewhere it always seems so unfulfilling to answer that question with my job. I keep thinking that that is the problem- I need a job I will enjoy, and something I will feel content answering that question with, but what? I feel like somewhere along the line I forgot to get a dream. I forgot to find something I really wanted to be and do, and now I seem to find myself at a loss. 

I watched this video this morning, and I was inspired by the message to do what makes you happy. I feel like the words in this video are taken from thoughts in my head and entries in journals I have written. That is what I want. I want to live my life doing something I love to do.

now the question again turns into... what?

"thank you clarity..."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Logan an I celebrated our first Thanksgiving together as a family and guess what? We actually cooked our own Thanksgiving meal and it was delicious! ...and if you know me, you know I don't cook, so it was kind of a big deal. I was feeling quite accomplished by the end of the night, watching Sleepless in Seattle and enjoying a few mini cheesecakes.

Here's to a happy holiday season ahead of all of us!