"Lost in oblivion -- dark and silent and complete. I found freedom."

sometimes I have an inexplicable desire to get in my car and just drive away. 
sometimes I think, if there were a subway nearby or a train, I would get on it and go all the way to the back, and just ride. 
I would put on my headphones and watch the people around me as they all became part of my own movie, set to the music I love. 
My personal soundtrack for my life. 
As I watched the world pass by out dirty windows, I would find myself smirking at strange laughs
and I'd turn to smile at young children as they hid their shy faces into their parent's shoulders. 
I'd be the dark headed girl alone in the back. I won't talk to anyone.
But I'll think about talking to them. 
My hair will need washed and I will notice people second glancing my way in wonder, but
I won't care...
because for the moment i've let go; i've completely let go.
I will smile.
but then others will worry,
"what is this strange creature doing in kansas, eating a day old danish, on a cross country train? she should be in utah."
AHHHHH...UTAH.
it's time to leave again, for now. just to glimpse the outside places I love so much and long to explore.
Maybe in my dreams tonight I will go to Hawaii. 
I'll smile at the sea turtles in the ocean, and the palm trees will sway as if they are waving to me. 
I will turn my face toward the sun, and forget I know what 'cold' feels like,
and all will be right in the world again.